Knowing Whose I am

Knowing Whose I am

Written on 11/13/2019
Olivia Bieniada

Written by Olivia Bieniada

Knowing that I am His daughter has changed the way I move and breathe. One moment with Jesus has radically changed the way I live everyday life with Him. Before this moment, I lived in obligation to Him. When I was being honest with myself, I believed I had to earn His love. I was a timid, reserved girl who people-pleased her way into perceived acceptance. 

One afternoon I went away with Him and asked a simple question: How do You see me? Suddenly, I picked up my journal and continuously wrote down words without acknowledging what they said. As I read back through them, the words began to sink into my heart:

My daughter, I see you and my heart soars. When you laugh, when you cry, when you’re grumpy. My love for you doesn’t change. I am proud of you. I take great joy in you. My love for you is constant, no matter your mood. I am not disappointed with you. When you fall I pick you up. When you run, I keep up. I have never left you and I never will. You are my precious child and I love giving you good gifts. I love making you smile, making you sing, making you dance. Oh Livvy, the joy that you bring me! I cannot contain it—it explodes out of me. I made you so beautifully, so perfectly. I see you Liv, and I like you. Oh, my heart longs for you to notice how loved you are. You can trust me; I will not fail you. Come and rest with me, run with me, fly with me. I love you. My love is all you need. I see you and know your heart, and my love satisfies.

– Your Daddy

That day, I realized how intimately He knows me. The fact that He doesn’t simply love me but actually LIKES me has transformed the way I engage with Him. Now it is not me doing things for Him out of obligation, but with joyful surrender. Being His solidifies my feet on steady ground. Knowing that regardless of circumstance, mistake or the presumption of others, I am fully known and fully loved changes the way I interact with people and drastically changes how I respond to failure. 

In His sweet, sweet grace He wants to partner with us on this earth. He chooses to use us! I used to be so scared to meet new people; I was so crippled by the fear of people. Yet now, being confident in my identity as His beloved daughter, I can be bold without allowing the possibility of rejection to deter my action. 

For example, one day I went shopping with one of my friends. We went downtown to a unique, artsy store. As we were leaving a thought immediately came to mind that the woman sitting behind the counter had pain in her left knee. I almost dismissed it, due to the fear of being wrong and embarrassing myself. Instead, I took five seconds of courage and simply asked her if she had any pain in her left knee. She instantly freaked out and asked if I was a part of Reiki. I quickly clarified that it was Jesus and told her how He specifically cared about her. She then allowed me to pray for her. She felt tingles all over her body as I prayed. A few weeks later I returned to the store. As soon as her eyes met mine she jumped out of her seat, quickly explaining that she had a dream the night before about me and woke up realizing that she no longer had pain in her knee since that day we prayed. I got the chance then to explain to her more about Jesus! 

Knowing who I am as His releases me to be used by Him in whatever way He may lead. I no longer need to be afraid of other people’s opinions. I know that, regardless of human words, I am loved, I am seen, and I am free, which in turn allows me to love freely.