Devotional: We walk the black

Devotional: We walk the black

Written on 01/07/2021
Katie Pezzutto

Written by Katie Pezzutto

This issue’s devotional looks a little different. To expand our conversation on creativity, I was inspired to create a poem for you. 

Poems have power. Poetic writings can act as gateways into deeper ways of thinking.

Exploring ideas with metaphors and dramatic imagery gives us a clearer understanding of our assumptions and outlook on situations, whether they be good or bad. 

I wrote the following poem in response to dark greed festering in my heart. I needed the Lord’s visceral presence to replace my lies with the truth. I needed Him to show up or I would drown in my lack of understanding.

As usual, He did show up. My prayer is that the result of this showing up would bring you peace. I pray it will give you a deeper understanding and shed light on whatever pain you’re going through.

Ultimately, and most importantly, I pray you’ll meet the Lord’s gaze and see hope staring right back. 

Black below and above. Sunken eyes, oceanic hell. Money, security, success. My gods topple and fall. Lifeless. Blank eyes, empty hands. I watch their bodies spiral down. Into nothingness. I reach. A pathetic effort to grab and save my idols. I can’t. Like a slippery memory, marble slides through my fingers. I sob. Everything I worked for. Control is gone. The waves wrap around.

Consumed. Black surge surrounding. I’m thrashing, overwhelmed by the unknown lurking. Everything in my lungs expelled. With my last breath, I yell His name. Above the din, the screaming wind, I hear a song, strings beginning to swell. Chaos being broken. Echoes of past hopes rising.

A hand encircles my wrist, strong. I am pulled from my underwater abyss.

That moment—unforgettable—when my eyes meet His.

I see humanity, humility, a man whose origin is Divinity. A man who abandoned a crown, shining with priceless metals and carnelian. Lived in dust, dirt-ridden circumstances. A man, destitute and abandoned, lived unto death for me. His power fueled, strengthened by Heaven’s Sufficiency. A Champion. A Father. A Ruler.

In his actions I see the sun.

I see a King whose provision is unlike any other. Humility incarnate smiles. And His eyes, oh, those eyes, shining with the golden light of glorified creation. A reflection of my own. One day I will be home.

For now, our eyes stay locked. In sweet union, His hand brushes mine. “Child, take and eat.” He offers sweet, unearned provision.

We walk the black together, watching the chaos swirl in tufts. Laugh as saltwater sprays, sing as the thunder rolls and lightning claps. You and I, we dance upon the waves…until they stop.

Orange glows. It’s morning. We sit on the shore, staring. Into eternity we see. No fear is found there. Only peace, only provision. Once again, you lifted my feet from the waters. You placed me on a rock. Stability.

We sit side by side.

I turn to you, in awe. You, the One who speaks the language of angels. You care about me. Your whispers come through summer wind, tousling my joys until they overflow.

Perfection.

Yes. Even in pain…my God.

Jesus, you are beautiful.